Sunil Gavaskar curled up like an armadillo defending against Wayne Daniel. Twitching on my seat waiting eternally for Ravi Shastri to score a single run. Imran Khan sending Michael Veletta’s stumps walking. Cursing that Sharjah Cup Final falls on Fridays. Vinod Kambli crying in Kolkata. Zico missing that kick. News is only for half hour during prime time on DD. Waiting for the whole week to watch a movie on Sunday evening. Taking a break from studies for Chitrahaar. Hawa Hawa. Oye Oye. The taste of Re 1 Ice lolly during fielding at the boundry. Notebooks with Sridevi and Madhuri Dixit covers.Watching Wimbledon only for Steffi Graf. Playing dark room with friends.
All of these feel just as fresh and as vivid as if they happened yesterday. But if you ask me about memories of what happened in the last few years—all the movies, matches, events become a jumbled mess of color and noise and I have to pause, trying to unravel the tangled web of what passes for my short-term memory.
Does that mean I am getting old? But Today, I don’t feel old but I do feel grown up a little.
And after all It’s not a bad thing after all. This passage of time….
When I was young, I wanted it all. Not only that, you do not even know why you “want it all”. It’s kind of confusing and overwhelming. Once you pile on the years, you realize your own limitations, which of the “I want it all”s you *actually* want and what kind of things are you willing to let go for each item on that list. That simplifies life. A lot.
The most important thing about becoming old is the realization of how little the so called “important things” really matters. When I was young, I thought getting 62 in my HS would ruin me forever. It didn’t. I survived. I also survived a many heartbreaks and failures and through the years, if there is one thing I have learned (not that I don’t re-learn it every now and then) is what seems a matter of life and death today becomes a mere footnote tomorrow, a heartbreak in the morning becomes a “Oh man what the fuck was I thinking” by the evening and that in life, there are just a very few things that are truly important.
What are they?
Well, I guess I have a long way to go before I shortlist further.
Happy Birthday to myself!!
